Monday, June 14, 2010

Breaking Free: Ashes Instead of Honor

How did you first come to realize that you are a virgin daughter of the King?

Reading this chapter and the previous 22 has lead me to be completely transparent with myself and the Lord is allowing certain things to resurface. I am understanding that it is for my own benefit. I have spoken about them before but did not consider them under the microscope of this book.

I can say with so much conviction that the Lord has healed me from so many horrendous acts committed by me and to me that I am free in HIM to share them for HIS honor and glory.

In October of last year, through prayer and seeking God's direction, I visited Ecuador to see my grandmother whom I had not seen in about 15 years. The Lord had given her many years and before she went home with Him...I desired to see her.  One night before my trip, during prayer, the Lord bought back to my memory the night I was raped by three young men when I was 15 while on a vacation in Ecuador.

Somehow through the years I had suppressed what happened to me that night. When I came to Christ, out of all the things I confessed and renounced, that night did not surface in my mind. I somehow detached myself completely from that night, I did not even remember it. Well, the Lord knew it was time to deal with what happened to me over 15 years ago now. After, I confessed what happened to me and forgave those three young men I felt an inner peace.  While I visited my grandmother, I happened to see one of them.  My heart still so tender and raw with emotions with what I recently had to deal with all over again, I forgave.  I made the decision to forgive just as my Heavenly Father forgave me.

However, the enemy persisted in reminding me of what happened. He wanted me to feel guilt and shame. He tried to make me feel worthless.  He wanted me to hide this from my husband. To quiet the devil, I did share what happened to me with my husband. I was not afraid or ashamed to reveal what happened to me.  There is such a freedom when we confess!

I understand that I am a work in progress and I am ok with that. I know the good work that the Lord started in me...He will complete.

Remembering the night I confessed really did make me feel like the virgin daughter of my KING!



  1. Praise the Lord for sharing! That's what breaking free is all about. Sometimes it's painful to do so, but oh the freedom that comes with it. Praise the Lord that you're wearing your royal robes now!

  2. It's a renewing of the mind that has to occur in us all to be able to see ourselves the way that GOD sees us....redeemed and free!

    I am because HE said it and I believe HIM and that's it!

  3. God is so wonderful sister. Thank you for sharing! It is so amazing what God can do because had I decided not to read the rest of your post I would have known the facts, but not the reward that came with it. The Lord's redemption, peace and freedom we can have in Christ, knowing that!

    Isn't it awesome that what the enemy tries to rob from us, the Lord redeems. And how sweetly we can savor the Lord's work in us, not because we deserve it but because we are His.

  4. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the cage of the past and allows us to fly free, forever in His arms.

    Bless you enormously,

  5. Yes and Amen!

    I can say that He does bring forgiveness...I have experienced that type of forgiveness for our abuser and his family.

    Blessings to you as you continue your walk of healing...may your freedom bring freedom to others.

    So, so sorry...but so glad you serve a King that restores and redeems.
    Thanks for sharing!!


I feel blessed that you took time to stop by and read all that the Lord has put in my heart to share.

May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you :)