Reading this chapter and the previous 22 has lead me to be completely transparent with myself and the Lord is allowing certain things to resurface. I am understanding that it is for my own benefit. I have spoken about them before but did not consider them under the microscope of this book.
I can say with so much conviction that the Lord has healed me from so many horrendous acts committed by me and to me that I am free in HIM to share them for HIS honor and glory.
In October of last year, through prayer and seeking God's direction, I visited Ecuador to see my grandmother whom I had not seen in about 15 years. The Lord had given her many years and before she went home with Him...I desired to see her. One night before my trip, during prayer, the Lord bought back to my memory the night I was raped by three young men when I was 15 while on a vacation in Ecuador.
Somehow through the years I had suppressed what happened to me that night. When I came to Christ, out of all the things I confessed and renounced, that night did not surface in my mind. I somehow detached myself completely from that night, I did not even remember it. Well, the Lord knew it was time to deal with what happened to me over 15 years ago now. After, I confessed what happened to me and forgave those three young men I felt an inner peace. While I visited my grandmother, I happened to see one of them. My heart still so tender and raw with emotions with what I recently had to deal with all over again, I forgave. I made the decision to forgive just as my Heavenly Father forgave me.
However, the enemy persisted in reminding me of what happened. He wanted me to feel guilt and shame. He tried to make me feel worthless. He wanted me to hide this from my husband. To quiet the devil, I did share what happened to me with my husband. I was not afraid or ashamed to reveal what happened to me. There is such a freedom when we confess!
I understand that I am a work in progress and I am ok with that. I know the good work that the Lord started in me...He will complete.
Remembering the night I confessed really did make me feel like the virgin daughter of my KING!
I AM HEALED
I HAVE FORGIVEN
I AM BREAKING FREE!!!!!!